The COVID-19 pandemic has brought many changes to our daily life; hell it could even be said that daily life has been so significantly changed that we have a new routine that we should start considering daily life. I went back and forth on writing about the pandemic at all; there are enough perspectives, facts, and guides out there that one more opinon wouldn’t help, so whats the point? Maybe I was avoiding it to protect myself from the reality of my new situation; which I should start calling my life. Maybe I avoided it because I have already taken in so much about what is going on that going through it all again makes me want to scream ( I hate repeating myself ).
Either way its time to pack up those uneasy feelings and move on because, well, I’m moving. COVID-19 has brought a lot of changes to everyone’s life some more drastic than others. Coming back from a spectacular trip to Japan in January I saw my first glimpse of the pandemic. A flight before ours was called to the gate and asked to form a line in front of the check in desk. I saw the airline stewards with the poise and patience that Japan is known for, tell everyone of those passengers that they we’re not going to be going home to China.
I never knew watching that moment unfold that it was the beginning of something. I definitely didn’t assume that it would affect my life plans to the point that now they are unrecognizable. A plan I never saw coming was going back home to live with my parents. I have been on my own for years now and have dealt with multiple moves, multiple jobs, highs and lows that come with life and come out just fine on the other side.
I don’t see moving back as a negative in my life, it is just a move I need to make to better my situation and step toward a goal. I think that saying “moving back” feels negative because the word back is being said. Saying “I’m moving” feels fine, I’ve done it a numerous times already, this will be my third move in the last year. But the word back… it has a gravity to it in these times. (Feel free to picture me with a thousand mile stare out across the horizon after reading that last sentence)
I want to remind myself ( maybe you too ) that the word back isn’t a negative one, and its the omission of the word home that makes it feel negative. Back home, isn’t negative in anyway; even if your childhood home wasn’t great or your home town isn’t someplace you care for, home doesn’t always refer to those places. As cliche as it sounds home is where you claim it to be and is what you make it.
Times are hard, there is no doubt about it. Some of us have to take steps to ensure we have a chance at a future we want and some of those steps will feel as if they are backwards. But allow yourself to take that step back and give yourself the chance to look over where you are going from here. Without stepping back you can only see a portion of the bigger picture.